ALONE

Every day he wakes up not feeling whole

Focused solely on feeding his doubts, the fears

There’s a void deep inside, a space that can’t be filled

It’s a feeling that never seems to go away

He can have the greatest time of his life

But when he’s alone, the feeling creeps back

Nobody seems to understand what’s going on

They just can never see it from his point of view

He wants to fill his heart with so much happiness

Hoping that it will drive out all the sadness

He hopes to find that one thing that hasn’t been there before

Knowing that it’s the only thing that can make him whole again

But when he finds it, he is too scared to feel vulnerable

Knowing it will have the power to crush him into pieces

So then he wonder, can he ever be whole again?

He acts tough and unmoved over some things

But deep down he’s aching for affection, for Love

So as a release and his comfort zone, he writes poems

Like a lost sailor, he casts them out into the ocean

Hoping the bottle reaches the other side of the spectrum

And someone would come find him, rescue him.

There’s no quick way to fix his troubles, no escape button

It is just something that he has to live with. Does time heal?

Or does it try to make you forget.

 

 

LOVED, TOLERATED

I can see you're not happy with me,

rather not happy being with me.. or maybe both

I've counted the days, the moments precisely..

when you held a genuine smile 

Who're you with me,

because love itself is not a reason enough,

love can't be so sacrificing 

Do you really believe I'm the one for you?

But why again do you seem so unhappy?

I thought you understood me, but then...

why do you want me change..

be someone I'm not 

Would you rather lose yourself to be with me,

Love is what we feel about ourselves when someone loves us,

shouldn't you then love yourself first?

When love compromises, are we forcing happiness for less than we deserve..

Or is it a cowardice act to love.. to be loved.. 

 

are we basically afraid of not being loved.. that we end up loving?

I feel empty, though admired. I feel distanced, though I'm wanted. Am I entitled to choose?

Will I ever be truly happy in settling for less than I desire, for being happy with an alternative?

 

 

LOVING YOU IS WRONG

I watch you every night, phone in your hand, smiling and giggling

The ladies you talk to, they fade me into the background

Those whores you keep company, as I lay beside you in bed

Joana and Sasha, I bet they fuck you better than I do, I bet they're prettier than I am

All I do for you is Love You, when will you ever see that..

You never show me off to your friends, to anybody.. all I'm asking for is a little appreciation. 

Aren't you proud of me, is it my eyes you don't like.. is it that I'm a bit fat, a bit darker than them

Am I forcing you to Love me, why're you even with me.. if only you'd open up to me.

Save me the pain, the hurt.. the tears that I never show, free me from all of it.

You've always been gentle with them, complimenting them, noticing them

I'm the last thought in your mind, I could be beside you.. but feel miles away from your heart

All I'm asking for, is some respect for the love I give to you.. it's a rare kind of Love.

The semi naked photos aren't Love,

the round asses rubbing your crouch aren't Love

The pecks and meaningless hugs aren't Love,

the lover boy charisma isn't Love

I shall no longer hide in your shadow, I will not feel unappreciated any longer, I'm going to love myself

I shall be loved, appreciated, cared for and be treated like the queen I am..

I will no longer be an option, no longer be deceived by your silent lies

My insecurities are gone, I promise to embrace my future.. whether you'll be there or not, 

I promise to embrace the hope of true love. .. and I hope you find it too.