VALENTINES BLUES

We have been through this a couple times over, 

and to this point it feels like its no longer love but staying together.

I always wanted to be the best man you’ve been with (and the last) 

but somehow our paths have come to the point where they part.

Please would you stay with me,

that desperate part of me still trying to hold on

for that last bit of hope that maybe I still have a place in your heart.

I will never love as much again, 

for tonight will be the end of a beautiful story.

 It will be the end of a hope that had so much promise.

Those words I thought you’d never say still ring true in my mind, 

“ I don’t Love you no more”

Teach me how to let you go, 

for as the shadow tries to hold me back as I head towards the light, 

so does my soul shackle me to the memories I choose to leave in the past.

If you could have my heart,

you’d feel the same pain that’s flowing throughout my body.

We’ve broken each other to pieces over and over again,

but we’d never understand why at some point

it all turned to specs of dust in the wind.

Don’t remember my love and miss it,

let it remind you of what could’ve been.

Did you have to hurt me because I hurt you,

you schemed to turn your act of forgiveness into a plot of vengeance.

Tell me where do we take it from here,

it’s slowly eating me up and tearing apart everything we’d built.

It’s the loneliest existence I feel in this time and moment.

I will never stop loving you,

it’s never that easy. I may not see you again,

but I’ll always remember you,

and in m lips you’ll forever be,,

In your eyes I saw many opportunities,

Plans for the future we’d dreamed of,

I saw the smiles of our little kids,

I saw the tears of joy and pain,

I saw the future that was taken away from us.

We kept drifting,

as the space turned our thoughts into echoes of distance memories.

What could possibly break us up?

If truly we’d given it all we had, So hard to face the reality that’s us now.

SCARS

 

There’s a way I feel when you’re away, it’s like I’m lost

I feel your absence with every passing minute

There’s a way you make feel when I’m with you, it’s like I’m whole

Your presence fills my heart and mind

For a moment I forget my troubles, my fears, and my anxieties

Right by your side, I feel wanted, I feel peaceful,

When I’m with you, I’m happy… but all this has changed.

I can’t deny that I felt it coming, the fire was gradually dying off

The passion of your kisses, your touch, the magic of your voice

At this point I feel the energy sapping out of me,

I accept defeat as all I can do is watch us disintegrate into a memory

How can we wake our senses, remind ourselves of how it feels to be in love

How can we feel again, anticipating those intimate moments?

We have been fighting this war in silence, our thoughts in constant chaos

Trying to save everything around us except for ourselves

Always feeling like you had the sole right to be the wronged one

How can we move forward minus the scars of our pasts?

ALONE

Every day he wakes up not feeling whole

Focused solely on feeding his doubts, the fears

There’s a void deep inside, a space that can’t be filled

It’s a feeling that never seems to go away

He can have the greatest time of his life

But when he’s alone, the feeling creeps back

Nobody seems to understand what’s going on

They just can never see it from his point of view

He wants to fill his heart with so much happiness

Hoping that it will drive out all the sadness

He hopes to find that one thing that hasn’t been there before

Knowing that it’s the only thing that can make him whole again

But when he finds it, he is too scared to feel vulnerable

Knowing it will have the power to crush him into pieces

So then he wonder, can he ever be whole again?

He acts tough and unmoved over some things

But deep down he’s aching for affection, for Love

So as a release and his comfort zone, he writes poems

Like a lost sailor, he casts them out into the ocean

Hoping the bottle reaches the other side of the spectrum

And someone would come find him, rescue him.

There’s no quick way to fix his troubles, no escape button

It is just something that he has to live with. Does time heal?

Or does it try to make you forget.

 

 

LOVED, TOLERATED

I can see you're not happy with me,

rather not happy being with me.. or maybe both

I've counted the days, the moments precisely..

when you held a genuine smile 

Who're you with me,

because love itself is not a reason enough,

love can't be so sacrificing 

Do you really believe I'm the one for you?

But why again do you seem so unhappy?

I thought you understood me, but then...

why do you want me change..

be someone I'm not 

Would you rather lose yourself to be with me,

Love is what we feel about ourselves when someone loves us,

shouldn't you then love yourself first?

When love compromises, are we forcing happiness for less than we deserve..

Or is it a cowardice act to love.. to be loved.. 

 

are we basically afraid of not being loved.. that we end up loving?

I feel empty, though admired. I feel distanced, though I'm wanted. Am I entitled to choose?

Will I ever be truly happy in settling for less than I desire, for being happy with an alternative?

 

 

LOVING YOU IS WRONG

I watch you every night, phone in your hand, smiling and giggling

The ladies you talk to, they fade me into the background

Those whores you keep company, as I lay beside you in bed

Joana and Sasha, I bet they fuck you better than I do, I bet they're prettier than I am

All I do for you is Love You, when will you ever see that..

You never show me off to your friends, to anybody.. all I'm asking for is a little appreciation. 

Aren't you proud of me, is it my eyes you don't like.. is it that I'm a bit fat, a bit darker than them

Am I forcing you to Love me, why're you even with me.. if only you'd open up to me.

Save me the pain, the hurt.. the tears that I never show, free me from all of it.

You've always been gentle with them, complimenting them, noticing them

I'm the last thought in your mind, I could be beside you.. but feel miles away from your heart

All I'm asking for, is some respect for the love I give to you.. it's a rare kind of Love.

The semi naked photos aren't Love,

the round asses rubbing your crouch aren't Love

The pecks and meaningless hugs aren't Love,

the lover boy charisma isn't Love

I shall no longer hide in your shadow, I will not feel unappreciated any longer, I'm going to love myself

I shall be loved, appreciated, cared for and be treated like the queen I am..

I will no longer be an option, no longer be deceived by your silent lies

My insecurities are gone, I promise to embrace my future.. whether you'll be there or not, 

I promise to embrace the hope of true love. .. and I hope you find it too. 

NIGHTLY MIST

Nightly Mist..

She wasn't the -big boobs and big ass- type, 

her frame was little..just how I like them.

Breasts that could fill my palms,

nipples that would harden inside my mouth..

as my tongue wrestled with them

I wondered how much she could take, as

I banged my hardness trying to connect with hers..

Her apple roundness would take the hits,

time after time slamming against my thighs.. 

there was that moment that her nails would sink into my skin...

the fireworks exploded in her..and she was lost in the moment

She would look into my eyes, with a gaze of awe..

I wonder what she sees at that moment.. if anything

I like it when we are both weak,

lying naked next to each...

for a moment we are carried off together..

to a place only us two exist

After the dazed moment, she would kiss me...

and kiss me again, she would touch me.. breath against my neck 

I would feel myself hardening,

I would feel her desire building up again...

the sighs and the moans.. her wetness

She says I'm not her lover, but I'm a poison..

a drug better than nicotine..heroine... better than Love.. 

"Pin me down and Destroy me" 

..it is that moment again,

she was always wild..

she wanted it how she liked it

She would wake me in the night,

with my dreamy eyes trying to see her in the dark..

I would feel a warmness round my manhood

She had that magical touch.. magical tongue,

in the silence of the night,

her loud sighs would pierce the walls

I rocked that world, I was president Mayor governor

...I was everything, I was king!

I ruled that wetland... it was my  kingdom...

I wonder where she is right now,

whom she wakes up at night with a warm sensual blow job,

whom she calls Cowboy!! 

Each wet sensual orgasm she gets every time that thirsty clit gets tickled,

how she squeezed her breasts in sheer passion

She is a wild one,

the kind you never forget..

she fucks whom she wants,

there's no shame in whom she lusts after..

She destroyed me..

She brought my world to a stand still..

she soared high with me and dropped me..

I fell for her

That morning I woke up next to an empty bed, but for a note she left.. 

" Get a good girl, one who will always be there for you,

to hold you up when you're feeling down..

to bear kids for you, to Love you..

for I'm not that girl.."

 

spicepoetry.blogspot.com

Soul Lover Mate

She gave out a soft scream, "Oh" softly came out of her lips, she sighed for a moment
An intense erotic sensation swept over her senses, seduced by the ultimate orgasm
I gazed into her slit open eyes, weak and horny.. turned on by her moist lips
She gave me a look that's of despise... and adoration intertwined in an entranced manner
She hated that she couldn't resist me, she cared little of the many times I have hurt her

Her moist cunt made my index finger feel like it was going through lubricated cotton
Soft and warm, she held my hand between her thighs,
Yearning and anticipating
I curled my middle finger upward pressing the inner walls of her vulva
As my thumb toyed with the throbbing of her plum red clit, taking in every gentle stroke

The room was dimly lit, with only silhouettes of our naked bodies shifting side to side
Skin on skin.. touch by touch.. she would rub her smooth thighs upon my caressing body hairs
I could feel her stomach muscles spasm, with the feel of my tongue running gently along her cunt
She effortlessly guided me to where she needed me to be, and locked my head in place between her thighs

I was lost in the captivity of her arousal, prisoner of her errotic chamber... I was lost in her world
I could hear a faint sound as if from a distance far off... " I want you to fcuk me" she managed to say in a weak tone
My manhood was harder than usual, the first time is always enticing..this meaty flesh of a male member
No way I could control it this time, it had a mind of its own.. like a Rottweiler baying for a meaty treat

Her entire being so warm, like it was being heated from the inside.. she gently lowered herself on my pole as she pinned me on my back
I could feel it slip into her moisty haven, her waist playing hypnosis with my gaze
Sweat trickled along the small valley between her breasts, head tilted back face to the ceiling, eyes closed
She rode me in all forms and manner, working her way to an intense release that made me think she was possesed

I knew I wanted more, she was light like a feather in high heights, floating through the passion like a soaring butterfly
I slid in from behind her on her fours, her back arched as her cheeks rested on the fluffy pillow,
Between the huffs and puffs of intensity, I counted two loud screams in short intervals,
I served it till she could no longer stand the slightest brush of my manhood on clit

She collapsed on the wet sheets with a telling sigh, "my juices are all over your bed" as she winded out in a trance
"This is just the beginning, we have a long night" I managed to speak in turn
Indeed it would be a long night, we could hardly catch any sleep..
the sun felt like it rose for us, and the birds chirped to her sweet moans, the cool morning air was refreshing
It was a new day, full of promise and optimism... I had found my soulmate.. I had found my lover.

Maybe not yet

Well I have these random thoughts in my head

Thoughts that trouble me and they'd rather not be said

I am uncomfortable with my worries I avoid my own bed

And in moments like this I feel I'm hanging by a thread

Whatever you're suspecting about this chain of thought is true

It may not be clear but certainly you and I are about to be through

Thoughts of unrestricted caution flood my volatile emotions

If I could change anything I would but that's no easy notion

Call me a coward, call me selfish, tell me I'm not man enough

Coz I deserve it, yes I'm self centered, but nothing is never enough... For me!

So this is my sorry I'm not sorry, an apology I need to make

I have never been the perfect lover, I'm a messed up shitty liar

Sometimes I prefer to be hated, loathed and despised 

Because then I will feel real, then I will know where I belong.. My heart died.

Spice.Scripts

Absence

I'm watching this girl, dressed in red,

curvaceous and with pretty eyes, 

she sways to tune of the music, 

my thoughts are louder than the speakers, 

her hips.. Her smile... Her boobs... 

She's lost in the music, 

A world where the bass and treble rule, 

I'm staring at her and it's getting awkward. 

I'm looking at this girl, light skin with a full cleavage, 

she's effortlessly sexy. 

My heart races at her mutual gaze..

she's pretty. She's bored..so it seems, 

sip by sip I take her in, should I walk over to her? 

She has a man, but he ain't with her, 

he's on his phone...chatting, smiling, sucked in. 

I'm looking at this guy, he's talking to every girl, almost every girl.. 

He's on to something...someone, 

he has the best dance moves, he has a charming smile, 

the ladies seem to like him, he's not interested, he is just having fun. 

So I sit and stare, people are feeling something I'm not feeling, 

they seem happy..careless...living life, 

with so many people around me, 

the loud music and cheers, I feel alone..empty, 

missing something...someone, my gal. 

 

She has an effect on me, she has a hold on me, 

she is present in my heart though absent from my sight, 

I'm thinking of her smile, her calmness around me, 

her eyes, her peacefulness, life feels alive when I'm with her, 

nothing else matters, I miss her when she's away, 

I'm missing her now, she's the only temptation I give into, 

she's the only spring I drink from, 

she's the only light I bask in, 

when everything else doesn't matter...

she's the only one of significance,

I'm losing myself ..to gain her, 

I'm surrendering my path ..to join with hers, 

I'm blinding myself from everyone ..to see her, 

I'm numb to random emotions ..to marinate in hers, 

I'm silent to my doubts ..and hopeful to her wishes, 

wherever she is...she is with me, I'm with her...

she's my companion...my friend...my lover..

I LOVE YOU [I think] BY SpicePoetry

What if I can’t tell the difference..

Between space and distance


Love and affection, lust and attraction

Between loving you, and being in love with you

Do I love you, or is it just the feeling I love

See I have this one problem,


I gave up on love, and its not an excuse


Maybe I should’ve made it clear from the start


Before I led you into pouring out your heart

You see me through the veil of expectation


As I watch you glide through the air of anticipation


What could be more difficult at this moment,


Than to startle you from the calmness of  your dream

To stir a storm of disappointment, deception, hurt

Love never felt so right, and wrong at the same time


It a struggle of moving forward while being dragged

Taking one step ahead, and two back...


What if I got it wrong, and I cant go on


Made you feel like you belong,


I used to like listening to that song


The one that always made us feel like we’re one


I say I love you, I try so hard to believe it


You keep pouring out your love, and its never enough

Truth is, I’m unable to love you like you love me


In all that I can do to make you happy,


I am more into what I shouldn’t do to hurt you

These are the feelings I’m trying to figure out

Whether to learn to love you, or to run and leave you. 

[17.12.2015]